Godly Wives: The Perfect Husband (By Sinchana Anthony)

A guest post. Godly Wives is a space where women talk candidly and honestly about real issues in marriage.

I have been married for 19 years, and have a wonderful husband who is a pastor and who loves me very much.

But I am not satisfied. I often find that I need more of him and from him… which he cannot give. Because of that I cry, feel lonely, deserted. There are times that I feel I don’t have anyone in this world. I feel there is no one that I can say truly belongs to me.

The place of a husband is very special in every woman’s life, and the word “Husband” evokes many feelings in most women – excitement, disappointment, to name a few. Do you know why Husband is so important to both the married and unmarried (the married feel like they need more from their husbands, and the unmarried long to be married)? It is because we were made to be loved by God who is our husband.

He is the perfect one. The one we all, on some subconscious level, are looking for. There is no other husband like Him.

That is the reason sometimes us wives try so hard to change our husbands.

Like in John 4:18, the Samaritan woman had 5 husbands – she was so tired of husbands that the 6th man she lived with was not her husband, she was just living with him. Oh! What a pity. Many times we think what we are doing is right, and we end up living in misery.

She was in such misery. She was deserted by people such that she only came to draw water from the well when no one was around, at the hottest time of the day. Where were the men who had lived with her?

She had to struggle even to meet her basic need, and that is the case with many of us.

She was willing bear the heat in the desert rather than bear with the scorn of the people… but you can never escape from people. No, there came a 7th man called Jesus.

Jesus was on His way to Galilee but had to go through Samaria. Some of us, like the woman, are somehow stuck in Samaria. But remember that Jesus is on the way to Galilee, and He is coming near to you.

Do you feel like you are thirsty, longing for something that life and your husband cannot give to you? For that, you need the living water that is nothing else but the Holy Spirit. When God gives you Holy Spirit, that is all that you’ll ever need. It will never run out, but will continually increase in your life.

“Come, all you who are thirsty, come to the waters.” (Isaiah 55:1)

“My people have committed two sins: They have forsaken me, the spring of living water, and have dug their own cisterns, broken cisterns that cannot hold water.” (Jeremiah 2:13)

We want our husbands to be able to understand our hearts and read our minds, but remember that that is not in their capacity. Only God can do that.

“I am the one who searches your heart, and examines your mind.” (Jeremiah 17:10)

May we come to One who calls us “Beloved”. He knows what exactly we need.

“I will not hide from you, with everlasting compassion, I will show my kindness to you.” (Isaiah 54:8)

All the money, power, position, husband or no husband, cannot fetch you real joy and satisfaction. Only He who calls Himself our Husband can.

 “Do not be afraid; you will not suffer shame. Do not fear disgrace; you will not be humiliated.   You will forget the shame of your youth and remember no more the reproach of your widowhood. For your maker is your husband, the Lord Almighty is His name.” (Isaiah 54)

God says, “I am God Almighty, yet I am your husband in mighty arms.” Full of love, He holds you so tight and says, ‘I belong to you.”

Wow! What else do we need? We believe whom we should not and we worship whom we should not. We fetch water from the broken cisterns. Jesus says,  “Now the time has come; come to Me the way you are.” Throw yourself at the feet of Jesus. He will not humiliate you, He will never put you to shame. He will lift you up and He will wash you, restore you, and make you whole. That’s what he did to this woman, changing her completely until she began to change the life of others.

He will do this for you and me. He will restore you so that you can walk with your head held high, all your past shame forgotten. Just like the woman at the well. Amen.

 

 

Sinchana Anthony is the wife of Pastor Shyam Anthony and is the Director of Felicia Kids Home. She also pastors City Church under the leadership of her husband. She met Jesus Christ as her personal savior when she was 15 years old, and the love of Christ changed her life completely.

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The Glorification of Messiness (and what Grace really means)

“Celebrate the process.”

“Enjoy the journey.”

“It’s not about getting it perfect. It’s about being present, where you are, as you are.”

“It’s ok to fail. Guilt doesn’t come from God.”

It seems that, recently, the favorite tune for many bloggers/instagrammers/internetters to sing is this: Embrace the Mess.

And I love this message.

It warms my heart to know that it is not all about being perfect, getting it just right. I love the idea that the people in our lives are more important than a perfectly-checked to-do list at the end of the day.

It is so encouraging, and important, for a type-A perfectionist like me to hear this message of Grace over and over again – God loves you because you are human, not in spite of it.

I love this message, and I also preach it (more to myself than anyone else).

But here’s where the conversation gets a little dicey: I don’t think we have done well in representing the message of Grace in its entirety.

Yes, we are human and we make mistakes. Yes, God loves us & accepts us just the way we are. He knew every sin we would ever commit and chose to send Jesus to die for us anyway. Yes, we need His mercy that flows so freely.

But Grace doesn’t just leave us there. It doesn’t leave us just as we are, because Love always seeks the best for the one it loves. Grace is so much more than a warm, adoring, doting father who blindly excuses his child of any/every wrong. That isn’t Grace, it’s mollycoddling. And mollycoddled children grow into over-indulged, self-centred, character-deficient adults. Grace that would leave us in such an awful state can’t really be Grace, can it?

So can we start a conversation, talk a little bit about what Grace really is?

I believe that Grace looks like this:

  1. God so loved the world that He sent Jesus. To be a model for all mankind of what it looks like to be fully human. Fully man. Grace broke into our mundane, mediocre lives and showed us that there could be so much more. He was the second Adam, and He showed us how God intended for man to live. He showed us what we could be and gave us a dream to live for.
  2. Jesus died for us so that the power of death and sin over us would be forever broken. Grace didn’t just show us what we could be, but made a way for us to get there.
  3. Holy Spirit came to be with man with His power. The obstacles were removed, and His power came, so that man was empowered to once more be fully man… as God intended in the Garden of Eden.

Grace tells us that we are loved unconditionally, accepted us as we are, mistakes and all.

Grace shows us the greatness of who we could be, that we are not defined by our sins or weaknesses because God created each one of us for greatness.

Grace empowers us to be able to reach the fullness of all that God has for us.

Grace is God’s bestowed ability to do what His truth demands. It is God’s divine empowerment in our lives. Grace enables us to be better… it empowers us to be the best version of who God created us to be.

We have gotten really good at the celebration of the process. We embrace our mess, having learned to love ourselves for who we are. The message of self-acceptance and self-love all across the world is as ubiquitous as water – because the world both needs it and wants it.

But may I submit to you that without the true message of Grace – the empowerment to positive change/growth – self-acceptance isn’t really self-acceptance at all. It just becomes a glorified, euphemistic cover up for self-centeredness that is lazy and spurns responsibility and consequences.

When we paint only half a picture and tell our followers that that is the full truth, we shrink God to the size of our self-made boxes and we reduce their expectations for what God can do… and that’s dangerous.

So here’s to celebration of the process. Celebration of our humanity. And most of all, celebration that God’s grace – His power – has made it possible for us to be truly human… the kind of human that Adam was meant to be, and the kind of human that Jesus showed the world we could be.

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A Word In Season: The Pain Of Pruning Will Become Your Beauty In Blooming

“My child, I love you.

I know that you are in a difficult and painful place, and you feel like you have been cut off from many things. I see your pain and it hurts Me to see you hurting.

One day you will understand why you are going through your present circumstance. This is not the end, it is part of the process for you to come closer to My heart.

I am the vinedresser, and those whom I love, I prune. Here I stand, and I hold you lovingly in My hand.

I am cutting off the thorns that choke you – the pleasures of life, deceitfulness of wealth, distractions of fleeting gratification. These thorns may be small and barely perceptible, but they will slowly and surely choke Life from your heart.

I am removing all the thorns in your life. I love you and I want nearness with you, but these thorns are blocking your heart from Mine and I cannot bear the distance.

I know it hurts at the moment. Know that it pains Me to see you in such pain.

But just a little longer, and you will be with Me. You will come to Me, and I will soothe your hurts and bind you up, and you will flourish like you’ve never done before.

You are waiting for My promises to come true in your life. I promise you now that they will. My word that goes out from my mouth will not return to Me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it. I am watching to see that My word is fulfilled.

Trust Me, flow with Me, let the waters of My Spirit take you places beyond your own limits and boundaries. I have not forsaken nor forgotten you, and I never will.

My promises to you are irrevocable, always remember that. They are yours to keep.

But know that with My promises come testing because of the Word given to you (Mark 4:17).

These trials and testings are meant to bring to reality what has already been deposited in you. A carpenter may fashion pieces of wood to serve as a chair, it may have all the parts put together just right, and might even look exactly like a chair – but it cannot be called a chair unless it has been tested and proved able to hold the person sitting on it.

The greatest testing points are also the highest points of reality, because that is when the truest nature of the subject is revealed.

My Word has the ability to perform itself. Therefore, My promises in your life come with the process by which you are prepared to receive them. Because I love you, and I cannot give you something that is beyond your ability to handle. My promises are so good, so much bigger and wilder than you can ever imagine – and I want you to be prepared so that it won’t destroy you when the time comes for its fulfillment in your life.

Trust Me and surrender yourself to Me.

The pain of pruning will become your beauty in blooming. Bear with Me a little longer. I am pruning and preparing you for great beauty, and I will not leave you in it a moment longer than you can endure.

I am in it with You, My grace will empower you in your trials.”

 

 

Verse references:
  • Isaiah 55:11
  • Jeremiah 1:12
  • Matthew 13:21
  • Proverbs 3:12
  • 1 Corinthians 10:13
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Idream of Eden. We were made for the Garden and the full pleasure of paradise. We got separated at Eden and we spend our whole lives searching for a way back into that secret paradise. All of life's pursuit + pain + questioning can be traced back to man's search for home. Our deepest instincts tell us that we are not home outside of this reality, and our souls will never stop searching until we return. Only there will we find rest and our true being. There, we begin to dream again the dreams that have laid asleep in our hearts all along.

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