A Word In Season: Your Heart Is Broken

My daughter,

You have so much pain in your heart. There’s so much that you don’t know what to do, and you wonder if you will ever feel love, joy and peace again.

I want to heal you. I want you to be free from the depths of your soul. Would you take a moment now to let My love in?

Close your eyes. Take a deep breath. My love is all around you – can you feel it? My arms are always wrapped around you – do you perceive it? I am here, always, as close as your breath. Just call to Me and I am there.

My daughter, you may not see a way out of the dark night of your soul but I do. I want to tell you now of what will become of you.

From the broken pieces of your heart, many will be fed. Do you remember when my son Jesus fed thousands of people? He had just heard of the death of his cousin John and He was heartbroken. He wanted to be alone in his grief, but when he saw the people following him his heart welled up with love. My love. That love healed his broken heart and enabled him to feed the thousands who needed love too.

Your suffering is not an obstacle to joy and peace, but a way to it. Your pain is the companion who reminds you of who you were made for and who you were created to be. Pain insists upon being attended to, and it is in seeking that you will find me.

Indeed, it will become a way for many. The bread that fed thousands had first to be broken in the loving hands of Jesus. On its own, it would’ve satisfied one boy. But there in the hands of Jesus, broken and offered up to Me, it became nourishment to thousands.

Would you let Me in? Let Me keep beside you in your pain. Let the pain escort you right to My side, and let Me heal you with My love.

Just say “Yes” and I will do it.

I love you so much. I will never leave you nor forsake you. You’re never alone.

You are chosen by Me. Blessed and favored. And you are also called to be My gift to the world. Would you allow Me to choose you, bless you, and take your brokenness to be food for the world?

Love, Abba

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Know Your God: He Is In Love With You

The Know Your God series was birthed in January this year when I felt the Spirit of God hovering over these words, “Know your God”. Follow along here as I share revelation + practical ways for you to get caught up in the Romance of God… and fall in love with Him all over again.

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God is in love with you.

Can I begin by telling you this? The God of fire + power + dark mysteries who could wipe out the earth with one word… is completely, irrevocably, head over heels in love with you.

Through this series we will address many questions (How do I hear God’s voice? How does God speak? How do I fall in love with God? How do I know if I’m in God’s will? How do I spend time with God) – but all those questions will only lead to fear, condemnation, frustration and discouragement if we don’t first establish this one thing. Almighty God is lovesick. For you.

Get this. The God of thunder and strength to move mountains greatly desires you. He is captivated by you and He calls you “Beautiful”. And He will do everything He can to awaken your heart to love.

He is the most passionate of lovers.  Like a man madly in love with a woman, He is jealous for your love. He will not allow anything to stand in the way of His heart to yours, and He’ll pull out all the stops – including moving heaven and earth – to get your attention. His love is as intense as a blazing inferno and as formidable as an earthquake – He will burn up everything that gets in the way, and turn to rubble anything that blocks His path to you. (Read: Hosea 2 and Song of Songs)

He loves you. He wants you. Nothing will sway Him from His love for you, and nothing can keep Him away. He will do whatever He needs to, however long it takes, to get your attention. And He is on a never-ending mission to captivate your heart as much as you’ve captivated His.

He loves you with all of His being, and He yearns for your wholehearted devotion in return.

Every longing you have ever felt in your heart finds its root in this: God is drawing you in. He will never stop calling you. He is doing all He can to draw you closer to His heart and into His everlasting arms of love because He cannot bear the distance.

Have you ever felt a homesickness for something you couldn’t quite put your finger on? That’s the lover’s call from God’s heart to yours. That unexplainable tug you feel deep in your gut? It’s Him.

We got separated from Him at Eden, and we spend our whole lives searching for a way back into that secret paradise.

Maybe that longing manifested itself in depression, low self-esteem, loneliness, discontentment. And you may have tried feeding it so the pain wouldn’t scream quite so loudly – with shopping, food, acceptance of friends, approval or others, being really good at something, TV… the list goes on, and we all have our own secret lists.

But truth is, our heart will never stop longing until it finds its resting place in God. We can try to satisfy one longing, but another one will just spring up in its place. We need to stay in that place of hunger and deep longing. Welcome it and press into it. Because that longing, planted in human hearts by God, is our escort into the deep heart of God.

We were created to delight in Him and to be delighted in. We were hardwired for each other, and our hearts call to each other from the deepest parts of our being, “Delight in me.”

But why can’t I feel God’s love… and why is it so hard for me to love God?

Falling in love with God, and coming to understand & believe that He loves us, is a journey. Much like any other human relationship, it takes time and communication (and some mistakes) to really get to know, trust, and love the other person.

And how do we start? It all begins with Him calling our name.

Every step we’ve taken towards Him, even our choice to walk the Christian journey, began because He first called us. You see beloved, He has loved you from your very first breath and will keep loving you till your last. He loved you when you didn’t know Him, and His love will never falter regardless of how many times you reject/fail Him. Even if you were to remain in your bed and do nothing else for the rest of your life, that would not alter His love one bit.

We cannot love God on our own. In fact, the human heart after the Fall hates God. Left to our own device we would reject God and put ourselves on the throne. It is impossible for us to love God on our own… and God knows that. Isn’t that a huge relief to know?

All we can do is say, “Lord, I am willing to be willing. Help me in my places of unwillingness. Pursue me Lord, I want to fall in love with You.” and let Him sweep us off our feet.

We will look further into the ways that God speaks, and how we can recognize Him, in later parts of this series but here’s what I can promise you now: God will show up. He is a lover who longs for His beloved, and will take every opportunity to impress you. When you say that prayer, God will come through and do great and wonderful things for you.

Even revelation/understanding of God’s love cannot be earned through our own effort; it has to come from the Spirit of God. A good way to get there is by daily praying this scripture from Ephesians 3:16-19. You may not feel anything “big” happening at first, but I promise you that some deep work is taking place in you –

“Lord, I pray that out of Your glorious riches – Your abundance – You would strengthen me with power through Your Spirit in my inner being, so that Christ may dwell in my heart through faith. And I pray that I would be rooted and established in love, and be able to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is Your love, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge – that goes beyond human reasoning and gets deep down into my spirit – that I may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of You. In Jesus’ name I pray, Amen.”

Be faithful in praying and meditating on every word of this scripture, then watch and see how God breaks through and works in a million marvelous ways to demonstrate His love for you.

You are His beloved, the apple of His eye. He is so in love with you. May the revelation of the love of the Bridegroom be released into our spirits today, amen.

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How To Step Fearlessly Into The New Year

Can I make a little confession? Lately I’ve been peering over the edge of this year to look into the next… and found myself vacillating between eager anticipation and gut-wrenching fear.

How do I start the year well and make sure that it ends even better?

What is God’s plan for the coming year – for myself, my calling, my generation, the world?

What is that one Word that will define the year to come?

These are questions that many of us ask whenever this time of year comes around. We ask these questions because they are a manifestation of what Holy Spirit has deposited in our hearts – Eternity. “He has placed eternity in the hearts of men” Ecclesiastes 3:11. We ask because deep within each human heart is a knowing that we were created for greatness. We were created to leave a lasting legacy.

So we search for purpose and direction – and if we’d allow His Spirit in with open hearts, that search is designed to escort us deeper into the very heart of God Himself.

I have loved the waiting-on-God parts. The dreaming & hoping & planning – that I absolutely love and thrive on.

But here’s where my heart catches & trips on itself sometimes – I take a good look at where His Spirit is leading me, at the mission and mountain(s) I am required to overcome, and I am afraid. Like the disciple Peter, I turn my eyes upon the waves and get more impressed with their strength (and what I am doing) than I am with the power of the One who designed them.

Perhaps you are like me, excited and sometimes anxious about the future. Or maybe, instead, you are in a place of not knowing where to go or what to do. Wherever you are today, here are some ways to help you (and me) step fearlessly into the new year.

1. Get to know your God

“Hey girl, don’t you know who I am? This story you’re seeing is just the beginning, I’m only getting started.” God spoke this to my heart today. To put life into perspective, we must get to know our God. We were made for Him and by Him, and apart from Him life makes no sense. And the beauty of getting to know God is that the deeper we get, the more we discover of the depth & vastness of Him. It doesn’t matter if you’re a veteran or just starting out on the journey, or maybe even a little lost on the road – God can, and wants to, encounter you anywhere.

A big question that I get often is, “How do I hear the voice of God?”… Because how do we get to know God unless we can hear Him speak? I have a blog series coming up in January that will cover the topic of hearing the voice of God in greater depth, but for now here are the simple foundational truths of the matter.

God wants you more than you could ever want Him. Let this truth get deep down into your spirit. Without a revelation of God’s love for us, our pursuit of Him will only lead to strife, pride and/or discouragement. We draw near to Him because He first loved us and called us, and that’s good news for us because that means we have full access to Him anytime we choose to say “Yes”!

God speaks. Today. God is alive and real and fiercely present in your life – He is the same God who spoke to Abraham and Moses, and He would speak to you face to face today. Let the first thing you do in the new year be to get rid of all the doubts and questions. Repent of unbelief. Ask the Lord to help you in areas where you want to believe but find resistance in your heart – He will help you, promise. He wants to speak to you and you don’t have to cajole/bribe/earn His attention.. what a relief!

Take time to wait. For an hour, or even just 15 minutes a day. Our souls need time to bask and breathe in God’s presence, dear heart. If you are too busy to wait on God a few minutes a day then you are TOO busy – God gave each one of us just enough time for everything that we need to do each day (and that includes rest, time with loved ones, and space for our souls to just breath). Cut out all the noise and extra things. Ask God to speak to you, and keep waiting till He does. He might speak to you through a Taylor Swift song, or in nature, or even through a little child – don’t keep Him in a box, because He loves to encounter each one of us in our unique ways. Enjoy the courtship (;

Journal. A little word that you think you heard God speak to you. A Bible verse that caught your heart. A prophecy/prayer given to you by a friend. Write all these down. You’ll be surprised a few months down the road when you look back and see how all your journal entries came together like little jigsaw pieces to form a bigger picture of what God is saying/doing in your life.

2. Get the big picture of who you are

When God created woman, she was called “Ishah” which means “Woman”. Ishah was simply who she was.  The woman fell when she began to doubt God’s heart for her, allowing fear to creep into her heart, and decided that she needed to take control of her own life. God’s curse on her (and all her daughters) was that there would be great pain in childbearing. This includes the nurturing & bearing to full maturity of everything in our lives that require nurturing & incubation – ideas, hopes, dreams, relationships.

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“Ishah” was changed to “Eve” – mother of all living things. No longer was woman defined by who she was; from then on she’d be defined by what she did. And isn’t being defined by what we do the reason why so many of us strive, compare, and get jealous/insecure?

BUT the purpose of the curse was not to punish the woman for her fear & doubt – God is neither petty nor vindictive. Rather, through the curse He planned to bring about the restoration of order that was lost during the fall – through the woman’s struggle to bear fruit in her life, she’d have to turn to God for help and learn to trust Him, acknowledging that she couldn’t do it on her own. It was God’s way of restoring womankind to the way they were created to function – at rest, at peace, trusting in God’s provision for them. And through His plan that culminated in Jesus, we now have a way back to the glory of Eden.

Who are you when all the hustling and doing is stripped away? Who are you, just as you are, without your accolades and accomplishments?

God welcomes you to enter into His presence with empty hands – come without pretense and without strife, lifting up your empty hands so He can fill them up with good things. Go into His presence and wait there, let Him whisper to you all the wonderful, beautiful words about who He made you to be. Capture a glimpse of your destiny through His eyes.

3. Get more impressed with God than anything else

The times that my heart has tripped over itself are the times that I’ve found myself more impressed with anything/anyone else than I am with God.

Here’s what I mean – I start to fall when I start to number my people and count my treasures. Just like King David and King Hezekiah did (Verse references: 1 Chronicles 21, 2 Samuel 24, 2 Kings 20, Isaiah 39), I sometimes catch myself reveling in the glow of the victories & blessings that God has brought me to. I count my accomplishments and all the ways that I have been winning… and it takes just that split second to fall down the slippery slope.

Because you see friends, when we start to number our people and count our treasures, it doesn’t stop there. It inevitably leads us to compare our wins with the wins of others; feeling relieved and affirmed when our numbers best theirs, getting discouraged and frustrated when they get ahead. We end up locked in the cycle of being impressed with ourselves, with others, with new win strategies.

What if we stopped counting our treasures and took God at His word, “I am your shield, your very great reward”? What if we saw that He alone was our treasure, and everything else flowed from Him, through Him, and for Him?

It would be worth a try to start the year with this one request, “Lord, help me get my heart centered on celebrating the impressiveness of you. Show me more of You and take my eyes off of me. Impress me, Lord!”

I am willing to bet you that if you said this prayer (and meant it) everyday for the rest of next year, you would have a TON of amazing stories to tell by the end of it.

 

Walking with God is a great adventure, and with our hands in His there is nothing we have to fear! How we embark on the discovery of our life’s purpose, and how we find God in the process, is something that I will be covering in a little more depth with a blog series in January. Share your thoughts + questions with me and I’ll do my best to address them. Till then, happy new year, friends!

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Idream of Eden. We were made for the Garden and the full pleasure of paradise. We got separated at Eden and we spend our whole lives searching for a way back into that secret paradise. All of life's pursuit + pain + questioning can be traced back to man's search for home. Our deepest instincts tell us that we are not home outside of this reality, and our souls will never stop searching until we return. Only there will we find rest and our true being. There, we begin to dream again the dreams that have laid asleep in our hearts all along.

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