What I Learned From Building A Home

“Home is the nicest word there is,” said Laura Ingalls Wilder. For me, this year has been a journey in discovering what this word really means.

In the past 8 months, we have bought a house, renovated it, got married, moved in, and spent a lot more time on Pinterest than at any other point in our lives (please tell me I’m not the only one!). It has been a thrilling journey of one transition after another, albeit rather bumpy at times, and I am thankful for the road that we got to travel.

As the dust settles from the road, I look back and see that we have found many treasures along the way. The journey brought us through joy, tears, frustration, hope… and they in turn have given birth to life lessons for us, worth their weight in gold.

I have learned to appreciate beauty. Beauty is powerful, and I am learning to appreciate that. I love my home because it is beautiful to me. Its beauty allows my soul to exhale and find rest. It is a peaceful haven, an oasis.

There is nothing that makes its way more directly to the soul than beauty, for we were created for beauty, intended for pleasure. We see this evidenced in the great lengths that God went to in preparing this world for Adam and Eve – lush greenery, flowers and fruit in every color imaginable, animals in so many shapes and sizes. Without a doubt, God loves beauty because He is the origin of all that is beautiful. He is full of color, and surrounds himself with dazzling colors (read: the book of Revelation).

Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “Never lose an opportunity of seeing anything beautiful, for beauty is God’s handwriting,” and I agree wholeheartedly.

In turn, this has taught me to find beauty in all things, even when it’s really hard to. When we first got the keys to our apartment, we couldn’t wait to get in there, plan, and dream about the home we were going to build together. Then we actually got in there and started the work of turning our dreams into reality, and it was not a pretty sight. The first few months that we owned that house, it was ugly. The colors of the walls, the floor tiles… were totally made to kill inspiration & stifle creativity. The ongoing renovation works also meant that it was messy and dirty. As a type A perfectionist who hates mess and uncleanliness, this was a particularly difficult lesson for me. I had to learn, and am still learning, that not everything turns out right the first time… And that’s ok.

As something beautiful began to emerge from the dirt, the mess, the hacking & sawing & hammering, I found that learning to live with ambiguity and messiness (so difficult!), and leaning into the discomfort of it all, is a vital part of the process of raising beauty from ashes. Because that is the way it is with our lives, isn’t it? We are imperfect beings who are being made perfect. It isn’t going to happen overnight, and there will be mess along the way, but the end result is so worth it.

William Morris said, “Have nothing in your house that you do not know to be useful, or believe to be beautiful,” and that is another thing I have learned – Keep things simple.

In our busy metropolitan way of life, our relationships and lives, like our homes, often get so cluttered up. Things get swept under the carpet with the intention of cleaning them up when we have more time… which we never do. Hurts, unresolved issues, wrong relationships, bad relationships, time-wasting habits – all these things are allowed to trickle into our lives and remain there.

In setting up home, I have found that there is true beauty in simplicity, and it is a lesson that permeates through every aspect of life.

“Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable–if anything is excellent or praiseworthy–think about such things.”

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Godly Wives: Love’s Destiny (By Rebecca Lim)

A guest post. Godly Wives is a space where women talk candidly and honestly about real issues in marriage.

When my husband asked me to be his girlfriend, the first reply that I gave would have thrown off any guy or probably scared them away, “Is this for real and serious? Are we headed for marriage?”

I knew in my heart that if it was not headed in that direction, it would not be worth my time.

Life is precious and short and I knew that there was a purpose to life, my life. More importantly, I knew that God had given me a destiny to fulfill and there was no time to waste on a guy who just wanted to date for fun.

According to Webster, destiny is defined as “what happens in the future”. When 2 people come together, there is love. We love because He first loved us. He loved us so much that He gave his only begotten Son, so that we may have a future. And so I believe that we love for a purpose, we love for what happens in the future. Out of Adam’s ribs, God made Eve, a helpmate for Adam. They were one flesh, their destinies intertwined.  And their main purpose on earth: to take care of the Garden of Eden.

And so I wondered and wondered, and wondered about my destiny, about his destiny.

My husband and I are two very different persons from completely different worlds. He is extroverted, I am introverted. He is extravagant, I am thrifty. He is happy-go-lucky, I am a deep thinker. His world was one of overflow and supply, my world was one of lack and demands.

And so we thought and we talked, and prayed about our destiny.

We were both interested in different things. He loves playing music in a band while I am terrified of the stage. He loves children, I was averse to them but I loved reaching out to the youths.

We tried serving together and serving apart. We joined the worship team and the youth ministry together. While he was in the army, I became a social worker. When I became children’s art educator, he became a youth worker. Now I am serving God as a stay home mom, he is serving God in the cell group. And now we both believe we are heading in the same direction.

Our wedding day felt like a full-day dinner and dance event. I’d never smiled so much in my life. At the stroke of midnight, all the glamor and glitz was over. We packed up, and the carriage turned back into a pumpkin. Yet marriage is more than just the ceremony, more than the daily routines. I refuse to believe that life just goes back to normal. There is a greater purpose in becoming husband and wife. In this race towards destiny, we are running towards the finishing line. My husband is the captain of the team and we are running side-by-side. Sometimes he may be running the hurdles and I’m just running along. At times he may be running in front, leading the way. Perhaps in certain instances, we may be running the 2-legged race together. But the ultimate goal is the same. We know we want to bring up our children with kingdom values and we hope to inspire other children and youths with kingdom values too.

So just take a step into God’s loving arms together as a couple. Rest at His throne of grace. Be empowered by His truth and reach out to what He has destined for your lives.

 

Rebecca, together with her wonderful husband Shem and kiddos Nat & Noe, live on the tiny red dot island of Singapore. She used to be a social worker, an art educator, and is now a SAHM who is working from home part-time. When she is not earning her keep or running after her kiddos, she loves making stuff for the home and family. Find more of her writing at Jarful of Plenty.

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A Word in Season: Desert Exodus

“So many of my people are lost in self-pity. They are bound and trapped, unable to come out of their pain and inward-looking misery. I want them to come to Me. Turn their eyes from their hurting hearts and look to Me. Only My Love can heal them and set them free.

Now is the time for the people of Singapore to arise and shine, for I am doing great things in the land. I need my people to stand up and be strong. I need them to throw off the shackles and be free to undertake the tremendous mission that I am releasing even now. They need to break through their own natural defenses. Only they can choose to do so.

My people, why do you complain and say, “My way is hidden from the Lord; my cause is disregarded by my God”? Do you not know? Have you not heard? I AM the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. I will not grow tired or weary, and My understanding no one can fathom. I give strength to the weary and increase the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in Me will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.

These are days of great darkness and trials, and I know that many of my children have been hurt. I know that they are buffeted by waves and storms that have left them weary and discouraged. Come to Me and you will be safe. I will never let you go. But you have to choose. Choose Me, don’t push me away and shut me out with your own defenses.

Because of the increase of wickedness, the love of most of my people will grow cold. The wickedness all around you can cause you to be hurt, afraid, disappointed, angry and confused. These emotions, if allowed to linger in your heart, will cause your heart to grow cold even to Me.

Beware that bitterness does not take root in your heart. But let My love fill you, because Love conquers all. Let Me satisfy your heart. Let Me be everything that you need. In these times of turbulence, I am the only unshakable constant.

Do not condemn yourself – you are only able to love to the measure that you have been loved by Me. You don’t have to strive; just come to me each day and ask Me to establish and root you in My love. All you have to do is ask. Ask Me for a revelation of how wide and long and high and deep is the love that I have for you; ask for a revelation of this love that surpasses human understanding. Only then will you be able to be filled with the measure of all the fulness of Me. Then you will find that the heaviness, hurts, and fear can no longer hold you down.

This is the secret of why death could not hold Jesus in the grave – My perfect love conquers all.

Arise. Arise and shine. For these are the days of the greatest revival the world has ever known. Many of you say, “Revival is coming.” I tell you now, “Revival is here. Revival has come, and it will keep increasing in intensity until even the world cannot deny it”. It will be as undeniable and as massive as a tsunami wave hits a nation. And the knowledge of My glory shall cover earth just as the waters cover the sea.

I need my children to arise and shine. Once they break out of their own defenses, they will be able to help many others out of their pain. They will then storm the prisons and set free the prisoners, find those who are lost, and bring light to those who are wandering in darkness.”

 

Verse references:
  • Isaiah 60
  • Isaiah 40
  • Matthew 24
  • 1 John 4
  • Ephesians 3
  • Habakkuk 2:14

 

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Idream of Eden. We were made for the Garden and the full pleasure of paradise. We got separated at Eden and we spend our whole lives searching for a way back into that secret paradise. All of life's pursuit + pain + questioning can be traced back to man's search for home. Our deepest instincts tell us that we are not home outside of this reality, and our souls will never stop searching until we return. Only there will we find rest and our true being. There, we begin to dream again the dreams that have laid asleep in our hearts all along.

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