A New Era Of The Prophetic

Last year I shared about the new breed of generals that the Lord was raising up. I have loved meeting & running with these remnant the Lord has prepared. Recently, James Jordan said something that resonates and perfectly encapsulates that prophetic word. He said, “Don’t ever follow a leader who does not walk with a limp.” Yes!

Building on this foundation of brokenness and intimate dependence, our Father is raising up a new breed of prophets in this coming decade.

We have entered a new era of the prophetic, and God is raising up a new breed of prophets.

1. Everyone Will Hear God Themselves

We have sat at the feet of fathers of the prophetic movement and are always awed & inspired by their amazing stories. The early prophetic movement was marked by incredible displays, like calling out to a stranger sitting behind them and prophesying for an hour straight about their family, their lives, their bank account number, etc. It was incredible, and I used to tremble when sitting in the same room as prophet.

When I asked the Lord about it, He said to me:

It was necessary for such incredible displays to be demonstrated by the few, My forerunners of the prophetic movement. This was done so that people would believe, hearts opened, and I could begin to release the five-fold prophetic gift to My church.

The pioneers of the emerging prophetic movement faced incredible resistance, opposition, and sometimes even persecution. I allowed the few to wield such power because that’s what they needed for their particular battle. They fought with much blood, sweat, and tears. It was because of their sacrifice that the next generation of prophets were allowed to grow in safety and much more acceptance than their fathers had.

BUT to have forerunner prophets moving in such power was always only stage 1 of My masterplan. It has never been My heart to have the prophetic gift only belong to elite few.

Now that the the first wall of resistance has broken through, it is a new era for the prophetic movement. It is a new day where every person can hear from Me, and the prophet’s job is to confirm what they’ve already personally heard from Me.

This is what I meant when I spoke through My prophet Jeremiah, “I will put my law in their minds and write it on their hearts. I will be their God, and they will be my people. No longer will they teach their neighbor, or say to one another, ‘Know the Lord,’ because they will all know me, from the least of them to the greatest.

It is My great desire that every one of my children will hear from Me directly. I long for face-to-face and I resent needing a medium to have relationship with My child. They belong to Me and they will know My voice, as they are known by Me.

I am removing the middle man. I tolerate no third party in My relationship with My child.

Tell My people to stop relying on prophets and start relying on Me! Tell them to cease their endless running from one minister to the next, hoping to catch some crumbs from heaven. Tell them to run to Me, come sit at My table and lean on my chest! Call to Me and I will tell them great and unsearchable things they do not know…

From now on, My prophets’ role is to:

  • Live often in My Throne Room and model a life of intimacy with Me, showing that this is accessible to all My children
  • Equip My children to hear My voice for themselves
  • Confirm what I’m saying to My children
  • Remind My children of the direction I’ve given them

2. Prophets Will Be More Strategically Deployed

My prophets are greatly valued by Me. But their role is shifting in this new day, for they are being lifted up to a higher level. They are being called up higher and released from prophesying over individuals and dispensing words of knowledge.. because I need them in a more strategic position in these last days.

My prophets are not being taken out of a job. No, they are being released into a more strategic one!

When My church is able to hear Me and walk in step with Me by themselves, My prophets will be freed to come up higher for a broader & further field of vision.

Instead of being tied to earth, now My prophets can truly soar up higher and live often in My presence. Their senses will be so filled with the reality of heaven as their whole focus begins to shift heavenward.

If My church is a ship, My prophets are the sails. As their whole being begins to pull heavenward (they will often feel like they’re living in heaven on earth) with their position turned toward Me, as My Spirit blows they will set the course for My church to follow.

My prophets’ prophecies on earth will only make up a very tiny fraction of what they’ve seen & heard in heaven. As their role in My church changes, they will be given much more wisdom in what to say and what not to. The prophetic gift is well-developed, but now wisdom needs to develop. Much more wisdom – MY wisdom – is needed in the days to come.

My invitation comes with the grace – empowerment – to step into it.

Just as silver was as common as stone in the days of Solomon, so will hearing My voice be commonplace in the coming days when My glory will cover the earth.

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The Tree of Many Fruit

Preface: If you are able to receive this, read it as an experience I had with the Lord as real as day. If not, read this as one of the imaginations of a girl exploring what the Bible tells her her Papa is like. Both ways work. I pray that God makes His word become flesh in our hearts, because God knows, we are in such desperate need of the Father’s embrace.


I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.

In a moment, I was in my Father’s throne room. I stood at the door and peered in: Papa was at work poring over a large mahogany table with many scrolls, angels bringing more back and forth. It looked like an important strategizing session. The majesty and beauty of the room.. the Person in that room.. I could not enter it, not even as an observer. I had just been through a season of pain and loss that had left me feeling ugly, broken, and very very small. “Unworthy” was the lie wrapped around my heart.

Papa looked up from his big desk and saw me peeking at the door. He smiled, so happy to see me. Immediately, He left the table and came to me at the door. He stood before me smiling delight, joyful welcome. He bent down and wrapped His arms around me so tight. It felt like He was wrapping me with love and warm sunlight.

“Why didn’t you come in?” He asked in mock seriousness and a gentle twinkle in His eye because he already knew the answer.

“I felt unworthy.”

He bent down till His eyes were level with mine and said, “I love the unworthy, the broken, the sinner, the sick. It was for them I became a Savior. All are welcome in My chambers. Because they are Mine and I have written on them ‘Mine’, My love makes them worthy.”

But He did not force me to go into the Throne Room. He could see  I was not ready to believe the truth. Instead, He said, “Come, let’s go outside and play. I want to show you a whole new world.”

It felt like an invitation, “Call to me and I will answer you. I want to tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know.”

He took my hand and I felt my spirit lift off and soar so high and free. We flew so high and the feeling of soaring through the air, bounding, dancing.. so free and joyful.

He took me to a part of the Garden – a cool, dense forest filled with many dark green trees. Some trees were small, some were very tall. We stopped in front of a tree that was shaped somewhat like a pine tree. Its branches & leaves were wider at the bottom with a pointy end at top.

We started to climb the tree, me on one side of the trunk and Papa on the other so that we were facing each other as we climbed.

As we reached one of the lower branches, I saw many fruit. They were fruit of many kinds & color, beautiful, large and shiny. I picked one – a big shiny red apple – and Papa looked at me and asked, “You can choose to keep this apple now. Or you can release it and keep climbing.”

I knew it was yet another invitation though I did not understand what.

It was difficult letting this apple fall to the ground, but His steady gaze watching my response gave me the strength to do it. As I watched the shiny red apple fall to the ground, I felt.. free. Papa smiled at me, looked up, and we kept climbing.

It was strange. As we climbed higher, the fruit got smaller and fewer in-between. But they were still beautiful. Every so often, I would stop to pluck one and again Papa would ask me, “You may keep this one now, or choose to keep climbing.” He always left the choice to me.

As we neared the top, I saw that the fruit were now so small they could easily be hidden within the palm of a hand. They looked plain. In fact, compared to the big shiny fruit near the bottom, these smaller fruit seemed ugly and plain to me. Of course, my frustration was not hidden from Papa who laughed and said, “Look closer.”

I looked closer and saw that these small plain fruit were… diamonds! Pure, crystal clear, sparkly.

Each of these diamonds were protected in what looked like walnut shells that were easily peeled off once in their pickers’ hands. At a cursory glance they looked plain because of those protective shells.

“All the fruit you see on these trees are produced by My children who walk with Me. Each tree is planted when My child enters a new season with Me. The ones at the bottom come first, they appear when My Spirit begins to bring fruit out of your life in that new season. That fruit is fresh, exciting, and a wonderful testimony to all who see My work in your life. There is a choice – to reap the reward of that fruit, or cast it to the ground before Me for the sake of going higher with Me. Those who choose to cast down that first fruit – that comes with praise of man, popularity, and honour – will climb higher.

I watch eagerly and long for My children to come up higher with Me. The temptation is great to touch the glory and take some of the glory for their own, but as long as they keep their face turned toward Me as I have shown you in climbing this tree, My unwavering gaze will hold their hearts steady.

As you climb up higher, there will be less outward fruit to show for it because that is where I do deep things that can only be perceived in the spirit, but this also where there is great & lasting impact. Even the fruit that is visible to those who cannot see will seem small and insignificant. BUT… these are fruit that will last. They will never perish. As you climb higher, My cloak of humility and brokenness is for your protection just as the walnut shells protect the diamonds. I hide My glory in jars of clay so that no thief will come and steal it away.”

By this time we had reached the top of the tree, and I saw a tiny walnut-encased diamond on that top-most branch. Papa beamed at me and said, “Now pluck this one. This one you can keep.”

I took the diamond and handed it back to Him. He smiled, took it and placed it over my head. I looked up and saw that the diamond had become the center-piece of a beautiful intricate crown on my head. I reached up to feel it. The crown had become attached to my head like it was now a part of me. I smiled up at Papa who was smiling at me with contentment & quiet pride.

I felt a rush of wind blow on me and felt power surge through me. With the crown, I was given huge wings. These wings were larger and longer than that of the mythical Pegasus. I felt power in those wings, and the urge to fly… Papa laughed with joy and said, “Come on!” With one flap of my wings, I lifted up into the sky. I felt so strong and so free.

We flew – played – high up there. Where we were, I cannot say. All I know is that it was a place of such joy, freedom, and the best feeling ever.. the love & delight of God.

When we landed back outside the throne room, I wrapped my wings around Papa in a hug. I was surprised that this time, because of those wings, I could hug Him. Before, It had always only been Him reaching His arms around to hug me. As I hugged Him, it felt like His body, arms & shoulders had grown even larger so they still enveloped me as before.

Papa was pleased, “As you grow in My love, so also will your ability to perceive & receive My love. I never change, but how much you are able to receive of Me does. As you continue to grow in Love, I will grow bigger and bigger to you. One day I want to appear to you as I really Am. But today that would frighten you. These wings, the crown.. have enabled you to perceive Me in yet a higher level than before. There are many rewards for those who walk with Me, but the greatest reward of promotion is being able to receive more of My love and to love Me in return.”

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Holy Grieving in Miscarriage

“As in all sweetest music, a tinge of sadness was in every note. Nor do we know how much of the pleasures of life we owe to the intermingled sorrows. Joy cannot unfold the deepest truths, although deepest truth must be deepest joy. Cometh white-robed Sorrow, stooping and wan, and flingeth wide the doors she may not enter.”
George MacDonald, Phantastes

“Sorrow herself will reveal one day that she was only the beneficent shadow of Joy.”
George MacDonald, Alec Forbes of Howglen


The silence pulsed, a looming dread of something terrible yet unmet.

My heart pounded as I lay on the cold bed of the emergency room. I willed myself not to shake, get a grip, trying to unclench the knot in my belly as I looked up at the late night doctor-on-call as she frowned at the ultrasound monitor.

The monitor was turned away, the doctor wouldn’t say a word to me… and as 2 more doctors were called in, my heart began to sink with the dawning realization that a “let’s check, just in case”  hospital run had turned into something much worse than we’d expected.

The next 48 hours were a series of doctors’ consultation, phone calls, holding on to faith, and crushing devastation: our baby’s heart had stopped beating. We had miscarried. Through the blur of hours of contractions and so much bleeding, I gave birth to our baby 6 months too early. We were worn out and in so much pain physically, emotionally, spiritually.

Miscarriage was not a foreign word to me but it had always seemed like a concept far removed from my reality – like something I’d read or hear about, but which experience would never touch my world.

Then that reality careened into mine and I was not prepared for the anguish.

I didn’t know that a miscarriage was just like giving birth, complete with hours of painful contractions and giving birth to our baby… except with a different outcome: Our baby was dead. There was no baby to hold to make the pain of childbirth worthwhile, only a sense of loss and emptiness. We wouldn’t get to take our baby Justice home, breathe in his new baby smell, dress him in the cute Mickey Mouse onesie we’d bought with so much joy & anticipation.

I didn’t know we’d grieve our unborn first child like a parent would grieve the loss of their child. I didn’t expect how much we’d love our baby before having met him. In the 3 months of our baby Justice’s life in my womb, Alex & I talked so much about his destiny, how he would change the world, and all the amazing prophecies that people received about his destiny. While he was in the womb, we had seen his whole life and how special he would be.

The conception of our baby Justice Wiraatmaja had been foretold by so many prophets this year. Upon conception, we received yet more prophecies around the world of his prophetic destiny. He was called to fight for justice, especially children with special needs, and be an intercessor forerunner & prophet to his generation. We were in the midst of an intense prayer shield with our partners championing the Heartbeat Bill in USA (intercession for justice for children, all the things he was called for) when our baby’s own heart stopped beating. We couldn’t understand why.

My body is on the mend, and our hearts have grieved these past two weeks.

We grieved over our unborn child as people grieve over a person’s death.. because he was a person. He had a whole life, a full life of possibilities, that we had seen clear as day. Just as we celebrated his new life, we mourned his death.

I wanted to honor the precious life of our baby by grieving him instead of sweeping the loss of him under the rug of christian platitudes. Holy grieving can be worship to God. Holy sorrow leads to holy joy, and we can’t short-circuit the process but neither should we linger more than we should.

The following are some things I’ve arrived at in the process of moving from mourning to dancing, sorrow to joy.

“David pleaded with God for the child. He fasted and spent the nights lying in sackcloth on the ground. The elders of his household stood beside him to get him up from the ground, but he refused, and he would not eat any food with them.

On the seventh day the child died. David’s attendants were afraid to tell him that the child was dead, for they thought, ‘While the child was still living, he wouldn’t listen to us when we spoke to him. How can we now tell him the child is dead? He may do something desperate.’

David noticed that his attendants were whispering among themselves, and he realized the child was dead. ‘Is the child dead?’ he asked.

‘Yes,’ they replied, ‘he is dead.’

Then David got up from the ground. After he had washed, put on lotions and changed his clothes, he went into the house of the Lord and worshiped. Then he went to his own house, and at his request they served him food, and he ate.” – 2 Samuel 12

Worship God with our questions.

In grieving these 2 weeks, I’ve experienced the range of emotions of the stages of grief: denial, anger, depression, etc. They’ve come & gone in waves, and the intensity of those waves are abating now. But the thing that most threatened to engulf and drag me down to the darkness were my questions. I had, still have, so many.

About God: Why did God allow this? Why would He give so much promise for our baby’s life only to take that life away? Is He angry with me?

About me: Did I do something wrong? Did I make a mistake and cost my baby his life? Was it because I was going to be a bad mother, so God took him to a better place?

About our baby: Did he suffer? How did he feel as his heart slowed to a stop? Was he scared? Was he in pain? Did he feel alone? Did he know he was loved, wanted, precious?

“Why” from the bottom of my heart, I was so desperate for God to answer me. But He didn’t, not this time. There’ve only been a few other seasons in my life with pain that rivals this one, and most of those times God has shown up to speak & answer me.

But this time, in these weeks of mourning, God has remained silent. Not absent, but silent. He has sat with me in my pain, the tears on my face mirroring the tears running down his. He has held my hand and wept with me. He has given me no answers to tranquilize my grief, and somehow that has given a dignity to the process.

Our mentor told Alex & I that there are some things we just will not understand on this earth, and will only see in full clarity in eternity. I won’t deny my questions, but I will worship God in spite of them.

Be honest with God…

How can He meet us face-to-face until we take off our masks and have faces?

I’m an introvert and while grieving I didn’t want to meet/talk to anyone. I wanted to be left alone to process my thoughts & feelings. I wanted to have my thoughts processed before I said anything.

But here’s the thing with intimacy: we don’t obtain it with clean, processed niceties. We arrive at intimacy when we allow someone else to look into our souls, naked, raw, messy. The pinnacle of human intimacy was Jesus on the cross – undressed, bloody, sweat and tears on display.

God wasn’t ashamed of my weakness. He didn’t flinch at my pain. He didn’t need me to “have it all together” or have the right answers. He just needed me to let my guard down and let Him be the strong one in the relationship, let Him be the perfect one.

The healing process requires our souls bared to the Healer. To have our hearts cleansed & healed, we need to be honest with Him in our pain, anger, wrong thoughts… there is no shame in His presence. He can take it and He will fix it.

… but remember He is God

While we can be fully confident in the goodness of God, we must remember also the reverent fear of the Lord. We cannot approach Him as entitled orphans, but as children to a Father. We can speak our minds to Him, but we must let His speak too. Wait and hear His response. God is not our rubbish bin. He is holy, He is God.

When we let God be God, we honor Him for who He is. And that invites the active power of God into our lives.

Identify with the pain…

Sit with it and embrace the pain because that begins the process of healing. Don’t trivialize it, ignore it, nor spiritualize it. Face your giants because you were meant to vanquish them. Embracing pain means that we choose to accept that pain is an inevitable, necessary part of success and growth. Without pain there is no growth, no triumph, no victory. Don’t fear pain. It’s inevitable. And when it does come, walk through it with an open mind and heart, instead of running from it.

… but don’t let pain be your identity

We don’t let pain become our identity and resign ourselves to a life of misery.

“In life I have found two kinds of people to be the most uninteresting (Is it ok to admit that there are people who are uninteresting?).

The first is the person who has never suffered. It is still surprising to me, but I have met people who have told me they have never suffered, they have never failed; they have lived a life absolutely devoid of pain and disappointment.

Living as long as I have, I have discovered that people who live these Teflon lives have only managed that outcome by living a life without risk, passion, or love. We cannot love deeply or risk greatly and never know failure or disappointment. Not even God was able to pull that one off. Love never comes without wounds; faith never comes without failure.

But there is another kind of uninteresting person. It is the person who has suffered, and that suffering is all they know. They are trapped in their pain; they wallow in their despair; they are all wounds and no scars. All they can talk about is their pain.

Life is suffering, and the suffering does not make them empathetic. They have no room for the pain of others. Their pain fills their entire universe… As uninteresting as the person who has never suffered may be, this second person wins the prize. It’s hard to tell a great story if we remain stuck in chapter one.” – Erwin McManus, The Artisan Soul

Photo 27-10-16, 11 38 24 AM

Alex & I are healing and moving forward. God has taken care of us so well. Our love for each other has also been strengthened through this season of pain. He has shown us His love in many ways this season, and I am thankful.

Pain still meets us at unexpected times like when we walk past a Dim Sum restaurant (Justice loved Xiao Long Baos) or anything that reminds us of him. We miss him, and I don’t think we will stop missing him till we meet him again in heaven. I’m coming to understand that God doesn’t want to fix our pain or get rid of it like it’s a problem to be solved. He wants to be invited into it. He wants to walk with us like He did with Adam in the cool of the Garden. Healing is the process that acquaints us with the Healer.

I needed to write this story because writing is healing to me and helps me process experiences. If that writing helps someone else to heal, praise God for that.

If you are walking through a season of pain or loss, I’m linking the prophetic 40-day devotional I wrote a few years back after I’d come out of a season of deep pain. The Lord told me to write it because He wants to heal hearts and help His children begin the jourey of walking out of their pain and into wholeness.

Miscarriage Recovery Community

In my recovery process, I realised that miscarriage is seldom talked about and therefore little understood. I did a poll on Instagram, and while 90% responded that either they or someone they personally knew had miscarried, only 37% actually had basic knowledge of miscarriage and its recovery process. I was shocked and felt like something had to be done. More conversations need to get going so that we are better educated & equipped on this subject. We need to blow this thing wide open because so many women (and their husbands too!) suffer this pain in silence and shame. Shame is not of God.

This topic needs to be laid out in the open so we as a Body can better represent God’s heart in this matter. I’ve started this “by community for community” place to get the conversation going and hopefully increase miscarriage-literacy. This is a place for people to ask questions on miscarriage (no question is taboo) and get them answered by others in community. This is for people who are looking for support in miscarriage recovery, and also for those who want to grow in understanding so they can help those who have miscarried.


(Click this button to go to the Miscarriage Recovery platform)

I  pray that this platform can play a part in getting us as a Body more engaged, we are called to bring healing to a hurting world. I pray that this platform supports people who’ve miscarried, helping them to grieve and heal. We honor our baby’s life when we grieve them well, and we honor God in our lives when our grief turns to crowns of beauty for His glory. If this resonates with you, welcome to join us at Miscarriage Recovery ♥️ Let your friends know, it’s a place for:

• those in recovery looking for support
• those who want to learn & understand how to help those who’ve miscarried
• those who want to grow in understanding on this subject
• those who’ve walked through miscarriage(s) and can share their wisdom & insight
• healthcare professionals

May we be known as a people who grieve well and whose sorrows lead to exceeding abundant joy.

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Idream of Eden. We were made for the Garden and the full pleasure of paradise. We got separated at Eden and we spend our whole lives searching for a way back into that secret paradise. All of life's pursuit + pain + questioning can be traced back to man's search for home. Our deepest instincts tell us that we are not home outside of this reality, and our souls will never stop searching until we return. Only there will we find rest and our true being. There, we begin to dream again the dreams that have laid asleep in our hearts all along.

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