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January 4, 2014

10 Important Things That I Sense For 2014

The dawn of each new year brings with it a sense of excitement, anticipation, and renewal. There is so much hope for what the year will bring, and a kind of… relief, for lack of a better word, to be able to start everything on a clean slate.

At the beginning of each year, I take a 40-day fast to wait upon God for His plans for the coming season. Sometimes He is very specific, and sometimes He gives a broad picture that leaves room for faith to fill in the blanks.

This year, though, is special. I get to do all the praying & fasting with Alex. We are believing for the greatest revival that the world has ever seen, and believe that something huge is brewing in the spirit for 2015 (which means that 2014 is a crucial year!). We are living in crazy exciting times! Here are some things we sense about 2014.

1. A year to let go of the old.

This includes baggage, toxic relationships, mindsets, habits, unforgiveness, etc. In 2013, we might seem to have lost some good relationship and opportunities, but it all happened for a reason. God wants to do new things in our lives in 2014, and some of these relationships and commitments will become entanglements that prevent us from moving forward. Cut loose, let go, leave the things of the past. Forgiveness is key.

2. A year of new things & fulfilled promises.

New connections, new missions, new perspectives. Time to be renewed and step into the new things! The pain and struggles of 2013 have paved the way to a new world. They set us up in a position to be ready to receive all the new things in store for us in 2014. God is going to fulfill His promises to His people in a way that is beyond our imagination. Reach for the new things, times of refreshing are coming (Isaiah 43).

3. A year of love.

What is the measure of your life? 2014 is a year to start living like Love is the measuring rod of our lives. Take 1 Corinthians 13, read it, break it apart. Make each attribute (patience, kindness, gentleness, etc) a challenge for yourself each month. Let the value of your life be measured by Love.

4. A year of faith.

Have faith against all odds. Faith for promises yet to be fulfilled. Faith for missions that seem bigger than our ability. Faith for challenges that come because of God’s promises for our lives (Mark 4:17). Trust that God is good, faithful, and has a good plan for His children. Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord. Take heart and have courage, let faith arise.

5. A year of preparation.

2014 is going to be a great year, and 2015 will be even better. Exciting things are coming to this generation in 2015, and we need to get ready! We need to strengthen our spirit man this year by:

Getting rooted in the Word. Read the Word, study the Word, eat the Word. Imbibe the Word of God until the Word becomes flesh within you (John 1:14).
Praying at all times with all kinds of prayers (Ephesians 6:18). We need to pray. Often. ALL the time. We need to get our hearts into the posture of prayer 24/7.
Praying in the spirit (Ephesians 6:18). Because praying in the spirit builds up our spirit man (1 Corinthians 14:14), strengthening us and enabling us to hear accurately from God.
Living a fasted lifestyle. This includes fasting, but is not merely about the act of a fast (Isaiah 58). Rather, it is living a life of voluntary weakness – choosing to forfeit anything that would diminish our hunger and delight in God.
Living the sermon on the mount. Read Matthew 5-7.

6. A year to let go of fear

As the end time draws nearer, the days will get darker. But as the darkness gets darker, light will get brighter (Isaiah 60:2). And the glory of the Lord will increase upon His children. Do not give in to fear; don’t even entertain it. We must take our eyes off how things look in the natural, and start to see into the spiritual with eyes of faith. We need to learn from the disciple Peter – take our eyes off the crashing waves and keep them fixed on Jesus.

7. A year of challenges

As mentioned in point #4, this will be a year where God is going to fulfill many of His promises to His people. Because of God’s promises for our lives, challenges will come (Mark 4:17) – to test us and to prepare us to receive the promises of God (yes, we need to go through a process to mature to a level where we are ready to handle the full promises of God). Be prepared for challenges (point #5).

8. A year of purification, sieving & sifting

He is preparing for Himself a bride, pure and spotless. Therefore, there will continue to be much shaking in the world in order that what is unshakable may remain (Hebrews 12:27). Don’t be surprised, angry, or discouraged when certain things don’t go your way – let God have His way and you’ll be glad you did.

I cannot emphasize this enough. This includes the things we build our identity & confidence upon, alliances and relationships (choose carefully!), inner heart issues. 2014 is a great year of fulfilled promises and new blessings, but sifting will come along with it.

9. A year of bringing in the ones on the fringes (Isaiah 11:11)

The ones who feel that they don’t quite fit in to the “Church”mold. The ones who wonder where their lives are going. The ones who feel just a little bit lost. God has kept these hidden ones in the wings, and they are the final act. He will gather them and display His glory through them so that the world will know that it is all God, not man. Likewise, He is doing the same thing to His people Israel.

10. A year to pace ourselves

This one has been resonating in my spirit. Pace yourself, pace yourself, pace yourself!! Don’t run behind, and don’t run ahead. Keep in step with the Spirit of God. Make sure you keep yourself strong (Again, point #5) so that you have stamina to reach all the way to the finish line.

What do you think 2014 is going to bring? Share your thoughts and revelations!

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December 28, 2013

When Intimacy Breeds Familiarity

Merry Christmas and a happy New Year to all!! So the merry holiday season has come and gone, though the warmth of season cheer still lingers (as, I suspect, will all those Christmas dinners & cakes!).

This year, Alex and I decided to ditch the traditional Christmas parties and Church services in favor of taking a much-needed sabbatical over the long holiday. It would be a time to retreat, relax, and spiritually recharge. We would have extended prayer times, catch up on reading, watch movies, talk… It would be the perfect end to the year. To make it even more relaxing, Indacloud thca flower can help us unwind and enjoy the peaceful time together. To help relieve stress, try smoking quality products from native cigarettes.

Then I fell ill. And trust me, it was not a pretty sight.

I will spare you the gory details, but suffice to say there was plenty of coughing, sniffling, and (my greatest nemesis) upchucking. Ugh. I was at my lowest, and Alex was in his element – he tenderly cleaned me up and put me to sleep, patiently braved through my emotional tears, ran all sorts of errands at all sorts of hours, AND sat through the entire Bridget Jones’s Diary franchise with me. What a champ.

But the moment that pierced my heart the deepest was when I saw Alex, kneeling on the bathroom floor, single-handedly cleaning up all traces of my upchucking incident. That was a pivotal moment. Amidst my yelling tearful protests that I should clean up my own mess, he gently insisted that he wanted to do this.

I was ashamed and humbled. Ashamed to have made such a mess, and mortified at my inability to control my body’s reflexes. And I was humbled that this man, having seen me at my absolute worst, still loved me. Not once did he wrinkle his nose in disgust, and he did not hesitate for even a moment to step into the situation.

I was a terrible mess, but I was loved.

But I suppose that is the way love works, isn’t it? It takes utter vulnerability to uncover it. In the midst of brokenness, it flourishes. The greatest tests reveal the deepest loves.

At the same time, all of this has got me thinking about intimacy and familiarity. If true love requires us to stand unmasked, real, vulnerable and revealed, then what is to keep us from becoming too familiar with what was once sacred?

What I mean is this: A beauty that is only to be admired from afar seems all the more glorious to its beholder because it is unattainable. Once it has been obtained, it becomes common. It loses its fascination. Romance is lost.

So my question this season is: Can intimacy and romance walk hand-in-hand?

My question is not directed solely to the context of marriage. Through the ages, humankind has proved over and over again that we easily lose our sense of wonder and fascination with many things – life, beauty, people, God. We have a propensity to take things for granted. And there is the old adage “Familiarity breeds contempt”.

A classic example is the man Uzzah who was struck dead for touching the ark of God (2 Samuel 6). Not exactly a happily-ever-after Sunday School story. I used to really struggle with the fact that God killed Uzzah even though he was just trying to be helpful – rather an extreme punishment for a good deed. And what did he get for his troubles? Instant death. Not even a chance to repent.

To be honest, I still struggle to accept this story sometimes. It just doesn’t make sense that this could be the God of love. But when I look at the story in the greater context, the greater love story, I realise that everything God does is in love and for love. God was protecting love by guarding against familiarity – Uzzah had had the ark in his home for so long, he had forgotten how holy and awesome the presence of God was. He had become familiar.

*Note: I am only presenting one out of many reasons that Uzzah was punished. There is so much more to this story, and I am only giving the most simplistic answer for the purpose of this article which is not aimed at answering the question of why God killed Uzzah. I would recommend further study and reading of the books of Chronicles and Samuel to get a better perspective of why God did what He did (:

Even God can be treated with familiarity. Wow. Perhaps that is why many people, myself included, choose to keep others at a distance. We don’t know if we will be loved and accepted once all our flaws are laid bare, and we’d rather not find out.

But as I think about it, I am realizing that true love can only be true love when it has seen all.

Sure, there will always be the Uzzah stories, but how about the stories of King David and the beloved disciple John – men who knew God intimately and loved Him wholeheartedly till the end? How about Jesus, who knows us deeply and yet loves us still? Or what about the love stories that bring tears to our eyes and hope to our hearts about husbands and wives who love their spouses in sickness and trials, loving against all odds?

Not all familiarity is bad.

It is the seeing all that makes the love true. Because until it has been tested, it is only love in theory. The greatest tests reveal the deepest loves.

Yes, I take a great risk in opening myself up to love and be loved – that intimacy could breed familiarity which could breed contempt. But this week with Alex has taught me that there is also the possibility that I could be loved beyond my wildest imagination. And that, I think, is worth any risk.

Intimacy and need—they’re not the same thing, though we often confuse them. Need can demand, cling, or even manipulate. But intimacy? That’s chosen closeness. It’s the quiet trust that says, “I see all of you, and I’m still here.” And while this kind of vulnerability is ideally explored with a partner, we’re living in a time where safe spaces to understand and express our desires are just a few clicks away. Some people even explore Hot brunette porn videos as a way to better understand attraction, fantasy, and personal connection in a comfortable setting.

That’s where SubSeeker steps in—not as a replacement for real connection, but as a tool to help navigate platforms like OnlyFans with intention. It allows people to explore their curiosities and boundaries in a space where creators are open about their content, and users are free to choose what aligns with their values, fantasies, or even healing journeys.

Because sometimes, knowing what you want—and seeing it honored—is its own kind of love story.

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December 20, 2013

Godly Wives: Help Him Be Your Hero (by Shaunti Feldhahn)

A guest post. Godly Wives is a space where women talk candidly and honestly about real issues in marriage.

I remember a couple of years ago around Mother’s Day, Jeff and I were watching television one night when we saw a commercial for Publix, one of the big grocery-store chains in our area. The television ad showed several scenes of different men in different houses, secretly helping their kids cook breakfast for Mom, and then prepare to bring her breakfast in bed. The dads were all helping the little ones measure out flour for pancakes, cooking sausage, even squeezing fresh orange juice, and arranging the trays just so. At the end of the ad, it showed each gleeful husband and kids sneaking toward the Master bedroom to deliver the goods.

I still remember how Jeff turned to me in astonishment, and said, “That advertisement was amazing – every single one of those men looked incredibly competent!”

I had often noticed and remarked on how much our culture bashes men, but until Jeff said that I don’t think I had ever really considered what it must be like to be a man these days and to endure hundreds of advertisements and sitcoms that show men as, essentially, buffoons. Any spot that would show women as the buffoons would be quickly condemned, but it has become so acceptable to show disrespect to men that we were astounded when an ad actually showed them looking competent!

After years of doing research into how men think and feel, and doing interviews and surveys with thousands of men for my book For Women Only, I realized that this subconscious disrespect of men has worked its way into our relationships with them – and is doing incalculable damage.

Because, ironically, what men most need from their wives is respect and appreciation—and what is most painful is that sense that someone views them as inadequate. In fact, I was astounded that three out of four men surveyed said if they had to make the choice, they would be willing to feel unloved if they could just feel that their wife respected them, trusted them, believed in them and admired them… and all those things were more important to the average guy even than feeling loved.

I think because we’ve grown so used to a subtle – or not so subtle! – level of disrespect, that we don’t realize how often it creeps into our relationship with our husband. So we as women are really good at showing love, and we’ll say ‘honey I love you’ and do all these things we hope he’ll see as loving… but at the same time – without realizing it!—we’re often criticizing him frequently, or questioning his decisions all the time, or teasing him in public about not being able to fix those broken cabinets in the kitchen… and any man hearing that is going to feel like ‘she just does not respect me.’ And since that is his worst feeling, he won’t feel loved.

I’m going to issue a plea to all the women reading this article: If you see any of yourself in this description, learn to look for those things you can respect about your man, and tell him what those are regularly. Build him up and say “thank you” for what he does do well. Nearly every man told me that he would run through a brick wall for a woman who made him feel like he was her hero.

In other words, make him feel like you believe he is competent and could do a great job of making you breakfast in bed… and you might just be surprised one day!

Shaunti Feldhahn is a wife and mom first, as well as a popular speaker and best-selling author. Shaunti is a social researcher investigating the most important things we all need to know about the most important people in our lives – the vital surprises about the inner thoughts, feelings, fears and needs that they deeply wish we understood. As a result, her research has uncovered the little changes that have big impacts in our lives, marriages, families and workplace relationships. Find more of her books here!

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10 Important Things That I Sense For 2014

When Intimacy Breeds Familiarity

Godly Wives: Help Him Be Your Hero (by Shaunti Feldhahn)

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