Daring To Ask God The Hard Questions

Our hearts have some fundamental questions about our Abba.

Is He real? // Does He like me? // Am I worth it to Him? // Can I trust Him completely? // Does He really have good stored up for me? // If He really knew me, would He like me? // Has He forgotten me? // Does He care? // If God loves me, why am I suffering? // If God is good, why did He allow that to happen?

There are different expressions + levels, but they can be traced back to Eve’s cardinal question: Is He for me?

These are questions we work our lives to find the answer to – through the pursuit of wealth, success, approval, perfection, religion, etc – and the futile desperation of the search is further exacerbated by the almost-universal unspoken agreement in the Church that good Christians don’t challenge the system.

For real? Good Christians don’t question the system, don’t rock the boat, don’t step outta line. Hogwash.

There is often a deep-seated shame attached to our core questions because of this deception. Shame for doubting, shame for not knowing, shame for wondering why…. and as a result? Shame for who we fundamentally are.

Because the answers we get to “Is God for me?” become the very root from which all other fruit of our lives flow.

And I think: Maybe we need to pull on the brakes, stop and think this through for a bit. Perhaps it’s time we stopped drinking the Kool-Aid of religiosity, and instead sat by the streams of Living Water to hear what the Lord’s heart is in all this.

God is not insecure.

Can we start by saying this? God is not afraid of our questions. Neither is He an angry, ungenerous dictator who is ready to pounce on us when we mess up.

God is a good, good Father with a heart as wide as the universe, and He can take your questions. In fact, He planted those questions in you.

The purpose of questions are meant to draw you deeper into His heart. Misty Edwards puts it this way: Hunger is the escort into the deeper things of You.

The book of Proverbs says, “It is the glory of God to conceal a matter; and the honor of kings to seek it out.”

There is a biblical mandate to know God + study His Word by asking questions and seeking answers, and it’s seen in examples all through the Bible:

  • Abraham received one of the greatest pictures of God’s covenant of grace when he asked God the impertinent question, “O Lord God, how am I to know that I shall posses it?”
  • Job got a response, and subsequently a revelation of God’s nature + power, because he dared to ask the hard questions that offended his religious friends.
  • Moses went into a deeper relationship with God when he asked bold questions like “What is your name?”, “Show me your ways” and ” Show me your glory”.
  • David, who lived close to God’s heart, was full of (oftentimes angsty) questions.
  • The whole prophetic book of Habakkuk was built around a dialog between God and the prophet Habbakuk as he asked God a series of questions.
  • Peter’s letters to the Romans + Corinthians were built around questions being asked and answered.

But the One who seemed to love questions the most was Jesus.

Jesus spoke in parables so He could clearly define those in the inner circle and those on the outside.

The mark of distinction? The inner circle (His disciples) came to Him with many questions; the outer circle (the religious people) did not.

Jesus commended His disciples for asking Him about the meaning of His parables, saying that the questioners had found the secret of the Kingdom of God (Mark 4:10.11). He got angry at the Pharisees when they stopped asking questions and were silent (Mark 3:5).

Jesus told us to ask, seek, and knock.

In essence, God’s heart has always been this — “Press in closer to Me. Seek Me. Seek Me and you will find Me. Ask Me all the things you don’t understand, come to Me with your questions — I put those questions there so that you’d come running to Me. Then I will answer and show You wonderful things you don’t yet know. Let your questions drive you closer to My heart. Dare to ask, boldly seek. I don’t rebuke questions, I welcome them. Your questions are not a sign of unbelief, only a need for understanding which I am only too willing to give to you. Stubborn refusal to acknowledge the doubts and questions is what angers Me, for it is religious pride to think that you have it all. Come to Me, beloved, just as you are. Bare your heart, lay down the religious armor that keeps weighing you down. Sit with Me, speak with Me, ASK. I will answer you, and even more than that, I will reveal Myself to you. That’s a promise.”

So maybe I think that we need to humble ourselves a little.

Find that humility to say that we don’t have to know everything, because we belong to an all-knowing God.

To be humble like a child so we have courage to try, seek, fall, and keep trying again without ever feeling like we’ve lost our dignity.

To get that special brand of humble-pie that isn’t caught up with “What will they think of me?” and is all absorbed with following after our father.

Oh that we would find the humility to finally admit “Oh God, I need You!” so our souls can finally breathe in relief from that tireless religious strife that leads us nowhere.

Jesus’ parables were deliberately told to confound the holy/wise (in their own eyes) and to edify the humble/those who sought Jesus with a pure heart.

And I really believe that it’s in the losing of ourselves that we find who we really are. Because like I said before, the answers we get to “Is God for me?” become the very root from which all other fruit of our lives flow.

So beloved one, today can I release you to go to Him with your questions?

Enter in behind the veil, bare-faced, no holds barred. Ask Him honestly, then wait.

God will answer you. Promise.
 
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A Word In Season: Entering Into The New Season

Part of this was a word sent out in November’s newsletter. I feel that it is really important for as many people to have access to it as possible, so I am posting it here as well. Read it, process, let it go deep. And maybe share it with your spheres of influence so they can hear it too.

***

Beloved, where September + October were months of positioning + planting, November is a month of budding.

September + October was a time of transitioning into a new season, and many of you have been experiencing supernatural shifts, changes, and promotion in your work + personal life + finances. The 9th month marked the very end of the birthing period for many of us. Just as a mother carries her child to full term, many of God’s promises + vision that have been nurtured in our hearts are ready to birth forth.

October also marked a new beginning for many. Whatever that was not from God came tumbling down so God could establish His Kingdom in us. And those who have been yielding to His process will be sent to build in others (people, nations, communities) the very thing that God has been building in them.

And November has just begun, another key landmark in God’s timeline.

You have been positioned, now flourish where you’re planted.

You have been abiding, now thrive as you remain deeply rested.

You will accomplish more in the next two years than you have in all your years thus far. Stay true to the course on which you have been placed.

Let your roots dig deep. Deeper and deeper in His Love.

“Blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in him. They will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit.”
Jeremiah 17

This is the crucial principal for the season: The outward fruit must always only be a small fraction compared to the depth of your roots.

That is the only way that you will produce lasting fruit.

You need to dig deep wells, not high towers. Focus on growing deep; let God be the One to grow you tall + wide.

“What shall we say the kingdom of God is like, or what parable shall we use to describe it? It is like a mustard seed, which is the smallest of all seeds on earth. Yet when planted, it grows and becomes the largest of all garden plants, with such big branches that the birds can perch in its shade.”
Mark 4:30-32

This goes against the system of the world, and it is precisely what will make you a powerful light + refuge in these times of growing darkness.

You are not alone in this journey. You have a family standing, contending, for the same holiness in these days.

Maybe say this prayer together with us —

Lord, we pray for a supernatural thirst in our spirit man — let us thirst + hunger for You so we are not satisfied by the works of our own hands, but only by the presence of the Living God. Like the tower of Babel, we ask that you thwart any man-made effort to raise ourselves up. We want You to have all glory + honor. Because You said that when You are lifted up, You will draw all men to Yourself. Be so lifted up in our lives, we pray. Amen.

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Word To The Sensitive Hearts

I’ve struggled all my life with shame about my sensitive, bruise-like-a-peach heart. To feel things this deeply is often painful + usually manifests in physical ailments so my body literally is bruised like a peach.

God has been helping me to love the beauty of my soul, and I am still learning to see the strengths that God wrapped in all that tenderness.

So my heart wants to run out and straight out hug the people I meet who struggle with the same sensitivity. I love your heart, God does too. I just want to pour out love + adoption all over your bruises till you begin to believe that you are so worth loving.

I love the outcasts, misunderstood, misfits. I champion the underdogs. I am all for that Isaiah 40:4 revolution when every oppressed + depressed shall be raised up, and I am giving all I can to hasten the day.

All this to say that I am for you, I am on your side. Because here’s the thing: the Lord recently brought a gentle correction to a blind-spot in my heart, and I want to share it with you.

Would you allow me to? I promise to be honest + gentle. I promise that what I’m about to say is for you, not against you.

Come in, sit with me awhile at the feet of Jesus.

Our Abba asked this question that shot like an arrow straight to my heart: I love your sensitive heart, but why do you not practice this same sensitivity to others?

He asked me why, when I was so sensitive to what my heart was feeling, I could be so insensitive sometimes to others with my words + action.

The arrow of His words divided my being from my doing, and there revealed a divergence. It shocked me, but it did not wound me. It was healing + reviving.

And I realised that it was true.

Growing up with this sensitivity had conditioned me to always be on the defensive — I had to protect my mushy insides, I had to look out for myself. In doing so, I had become inward-looking and carried a flawed sense of entitlement that I was more special and, therefore, deserved to be treated with more care, than others.

So I asked the only logical question (in my mind) in response to this revelation: What should I do to fix this?

His response? Let Me take you deeper still. Let your roots grow deep. Deeper and deeper into Love.

To understand the solution, we have to go back to the root of the problem. Because the genesis of the defect is often a prophetic picture its creator’s original design.

Where do we start? Eden + Babel.

There is an affliction that all children of Adam + Eve share. It is so ubiquitously woven into our DNA that we barely notice its existence.

Its name? Loneliness.

Its sidekick? Rejection, fear, self-pity.

Sensitive people might feel this more acutely, but it is a universal battle.

At the fall, the inviolate bond of trust, honor, and perfect love was torn in two. Man betrayed woman, woman mistrusted man and God, man hid from God. Man and woman hid their eyes from God and began to look to themselves. Gone was perfect communion + communication. In its place was a brokenness within and without, and it continued to degenerate through Adam and Eve’s descendants.

This decline was further perpetuated at Babel. When man again mistrusted God’s heart for them and looked to themselves, striving to become like God by their own strength, God had to save them from themselves. He made them unable to understand each others’ words, but the deeper consequence was this — man could no longer understand each other’s hearts, including their own.

We’ve not only been disconnected from God and others, we’ve also been disconnected from our true selves. That’s why we have problems like identity crises, depression, and all other mental + soul infirmities today.

Now here’s the mind-blowing paradox of the gospel: Jesus came to earth grasping the veil between heaven + earth. And with His death He tore it in two.

He tore the veil of holiness so that He could repair the blanket of oneness that was broken in Eden — and make it a wedding veil for His bride.

This right here is the account of man. The story of why we hurt ourselves + others. The reason for our loneliness, selfishness, self-pity.

And I see now that the solution to depression, hurt, and every other way that our hearts can hurt, is to receive Love.

This, dear friends, is how we can thrive in a hard world with the integrity of our sensitive hearts intact. How we can bloom, not just for ourselves, but as a blessing to others.

We need to receive that blanket of oneness from Jesus. Let it always wrap around us, heal us, turn our eyes away from ourselves and toward our Abba who loves us so.

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Idream of Eden. We were made for the Garden and the full pleasure of paradise. We got separated at Eden and we spend our whole lives searching for a way back into that secret paradise. All of life's pursuit + pain + questioning can be traced back to man's search for home. Our deepest instincts tell us that we are not home outside of this reality, and our souls will never stop searching until we return. Only there will we find rest and our true being. There, we begin to dream again the dreams that have laid asleep in our hearts all along.

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