Samantha Wiraatmaja »

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Word To The Sensitive Hearts

I’ve struggled all my life with shame about my sensitive, bruise-like-a-peach heart. To feel things this deeply is often painful + usually manifests in physical ailments so my body literally is bruised like a peach.

God has been helping me to love the beauty of my soul, and I am still learning to see the strengths that God wrapped in all that tenderness.

So my heart wants to run out and straight out hug the people I meet who struggle with the same sensitivity. I love your heart, God does too. I just want to pour out love + adoption all over your bruises till you begin to believe that you are so worth loving.

I love the outcasts, misunderstood, misfits. I champion the underdogs. I am all for that Isaiah 40:4 revolution when every oppressed + depressed shall be raised up, and I am giving all I can to hasten the day.

All this to say that I am for you, I am on your side. Because here’s the thing: the Lord recently brought a gentle correction to a blind-spot in my heart, and I want to share it with you.

Would you allow me to? I promise to be honest + gentle. I promise that what I’m about to say is for you, not against you.

Come in, sit with me awhile at the feet of Jesus.

Our Abba asked this question that shot like an arrow straight to my heart: I love your sensitive heart, but why do you not practice this same sensitivity to others?

He asked me why, when I was so sensitive to what my heart was feeling, I could be so insensitive sometimes to others with my words + action.

The arrow of His words divided my being from my doing, and there revealed a divergence. It shocked me, but it did not wound me. It was healing + reviving.

And I realised that it was true.

Growing up with this sensitivity had conditioned me to always be on the defensive — I had to protect my mushy insides, I had to look out for myself. In doing so, I had become inward-looking and carried a flawed sense of entitlement that I was more special and, therefore, deserved to be treated with more care, than others.

So I asked the only logical question (in my mind) in response to this revelation: What should I do to fix this?

His response? Let Me take you deeper still. Let your roots grow deep. Deeper and deeper into Love.

To understand the solution, we have to go back to the root of the problem. Because the genesis of the defect is often a prophetic picture its creator’s original design.

Where do we start? Eden + Babel.

There is an affliction that all children of Adam + Eve share. It is so ubiquitously woven into our DNA that we barely notice its existence.

Its name? Loneliness.

Its sidekick? Rejection, fear, self-pity.

Sensitive people might feel this more acutely, but it is a universal battle.

At the fall, the inviolate bond of trust, honor, and perfect love was torn in two. Man betrayed woman, woman mistrusted man and God, man hid from God. Man and woman hid their eyes from God and began to look to themselves. Gone was perfect communion + communication. In its place was a brokenness within and without, and it continued to degenerate through Adam and Eve’s descendants.

This decline was further perpetuated at Babel. When man again mistrusted God’s heart for them and looked to themselves, striving to become like God by their own strength, God had to save them from themselves. He made them unable to understand each others’ words, but the deeper consequence was this — man could no longer understand each other’s hearts, including their own.

We’ve not only been disconnected from God and others, we’ve also been disconnected from our true selves. That’s why we have problems like identity crises, depression, and all other mental + soul infirmities today.

Now here’s the mind-blowing paradox of the gospel: Jesus came to earth grasping the veil between heaven + earth. And with His death He tore it in two.

He tore the veil of holiness so that He could repair the blanket of oneness that was broken in Eden — and make it a wedding veil for His bride.

This right here is the account of man. The story of why we hurt ourselves + others. The reason for our loneliness, selfishness, self-pity.

And I see now that the solution to depression, hurt, and every other way that our hearts can hurt, is to receive Love.

This, dear friends, is how we can thrive in a hard world with the integrity of our sensitive hearts intact. How we can bloom, not just for ourselves, but as a blessing to others.

We need to receive that blanket of oneness from Jesus. Let it always wrap around us, heal us, turn our eyes away from ourselves and toward our Abba who loves us so.

 

  • AndreaOctober 27, 2015 - 7:12 pm

    Just beautiful. I share this ultra-sensitive soul, and like you am often lacking in sensitivity for others. This spoke to my heart today. I’ve often thought loving others was such a simple command, and have practiced it throughout my life. But to receive love is just as important. Thank you for trusting in God’s words to share them with us.ReplyCancel

  • Amanda MarieOctober 27, 2015 - 7:46 pm

    Great post! I love how you are able to share this story of fault and discover! I have been thinking a lot about life and with everything going on in the world especially with the refugees. About how we as Americans treat each other and what people value when there are people in this world right this very second getting murdered and forced out of their homes and here we are in America..hurting each other! I believe more of us need to step back and look in ourselves and pour out that love so we can all receive it back! Thanks for sharing I never really thought about it in this light coming from someone who can be a bit sensitive at times!
    ~Amanda MarieReplyCancel

  • TayrinaOctober 27, 2015 - 8:00 pm

    There is always room for learning and more about if God is the one who is teaching us to act according to His heart. Loved this encouraging post, so much learn and do!ReplyCancel

  • Bobi AnnOctober 27, 2015 - 9:48 pm

    I love the thought of the “beauty of my soul”.ReplyCancel

  • Florence A UkpabiOctober 27, 2015 - 10:57 pm

    This is beautiful so beautiful that it nearly made me cry – I’m with you Samantha on so many different levels my INFJ sister. Sometimes I see someone look sad or lonely and it breaks my heart but YHWH created me exactly like that, you like that for a reason. The solution is yes to dig deep and plant our roots firm in His love so that we can bear fruit to nourish the souls of others and leaves to heal their wounds. xxxxReplyCancel

  • BonnieOctober 28, 2015 - 12:56 am

    Wow. A lot of this resonated with me. Thank you for sharing!ReplyCancel

  • briannaOctober 28, 2015 - 10:42 am

    You spoke directly to my heart…Thank you.

    http://unveiledandrevealed.comReplyCancel

  • andiOctober 28, 2015 - 6:20 pm

    learning to be more sensitive to others – and to God’s leading…ReplyCancel

  • Mary Lou CaskeyOctober 28, 2015 - 7:37 pm

    Wow, this is my first time on your site. Everything about it spoke volumes to me and I am sure to so many others. Bless you, bless you!ReplyCancel

  • Melinda ToddOctober 28, 2015 - 10:00 pm

    Love this. I’ve written on this topic too because I share the same sensitive heart. It can be a tough road. Thanks for sharing.ReplyCancel

  • JamieOctober 29, 2015 - 3:36 am

    What a great post!! It’s amazing how wonderful our Lord is. I give thanks daily that I have God in my life and was saved by His Son!! Thank you for sharing this great story!ReplyCancel

  • Maria HassOctober 29, 2015 - 5:48 am

    I needed to read this. I’m on the same boat. And I needed the gentle reminder that others are sensitive too and I should be more considerate of their feelings.ReplyCancel

  • Returning RemnantOctober 29, 2015 - 7:23 am

    Hi Samantha! Thought you might enjoy this song. It seems to fit right in with your heart.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3410Eqh3LQo

    XOXO,

    Carrie & ChandaReplyCancel

  • andiOctober 29, 2015 - 6:07 pm

    maybe i need to be sitting at His feet a LOT more often 😀ReplyCancel

  • CarissaOctober 30, 2015 - 9:49 am

    So sweet and true. I understand about having a sensitive soul.ReplyCancel

  • Mary CollinsOctober 30, 2015 - 12:00 pm

    Samantha,
    Your writing is as beautiful as your site. I so enjoy the way connect your images to the words you are using.ReplyCancel

  • andiOctober 30, 2015 - 6:09 pm

    God wants so much to heal our hearts – if we would only just let Him do so….ReplyCancel

  • Jennifer WilsonOctober 31, 2015 - 4:14 am

    Shame is something I used to struggle with so much, but I did a Bible study on Shame, and it really helped me see the truth of Romans 8:1. 🙂ReplyCancel

  • PaulaOctober 31, 2015 - 4:43 am

    I love it when our Savior trusts us enough to take us deeper with Him. He knows our hearts and knows when we are ready to tackle our blind spots. Thank you for sharing!ReplyCancel

  • BransonOctober 31, 2015 - 5:45 am

    This is a beautiful post. I find that when we are ready to hear a difficult message it can be a positive experience. I think that is part of knowing when something is truly from God. He teaches us slowly over time for a reason! Thank you for sharing your heart!ReplyCancel

  • ChanelleNovember 1, 2015 - 12:12 am

    Thank you for your transparency in this post. It too am a tender heart and find myself “guarding” from potential hurts. Christ has shown me that to trust in Him is to trust Him with my heart, feelings and emotions. It is a difficult challenge that I embark on daily, but I must say in this trust I grow daily and am able to trust him more. ?ReplyCancel

  • AmandaNovember 2, 2015 - 8:40 pm

    Everything you said was so perfectly written. There is, however, one thing missing. The fear, rejection, and loneliness that you mentioned are not just feelings, they are spirits that are lying to you through your spirit. These spirits first need to be renounced before you are able to receive love, peace, and true joy. I encourage you to visit iamchanged.com or beinhealth.com. Both websites talk about the spiritual battle going on in our lives. I think you would really like it. In Christ, AmandaReplyCancel

  • Joanna OliverNovember 19, 2015 - 4:08 pm

    Lovely 🙂ReplyCancel

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