Godly Wives: Spiritual Life in Marriage (By Lisa Jacobson)

A guest post. Godly Wives is a space where women talk candidly and honestly about real issues in marriage.

I suppose I took it for granted.

After all, I had been a missionary in Africa. Graduated from seminary. He was heavily involved in Christian publishing. We were both serious about our faith.

A spiritual match made in heaven.  

You’d think.

Yeah, I figured our spiritual connection would just fall into place. Naturally and easily. I somehow imagined we’d wake up from our honeymoon and start praying together. Studying the Bible. Memorizing verses and maybe entire chapters.

Our lives together would be one long spiritual retreat.

Um…not exactly. As it turned out, I still had to make breakfast. And he had to rush off to work. And I got pregnant and woke up felt more like throwing up than praying. We had diapers to change and meetings to attend. Things that don’t generally happen on spiritual retreats.

Much to my disappointment something called everyday life kept interfering with our spiritual connection.

If we wanted to enjoy a spiritual walk together, we were going to have to do something about it. It clearly wasn’t going to happen on it’s own.

So over the years, we’ve found these things to help us build a stronger spiritual connection.

1.  Set realistic expectations. You don’t need to have daily devotions together to be “spiritual”. Sure, I love it when my husband and I pray together, but it doesn’t always work out for us. Thankfully, all-night prayer vigils and intensive Bible studies are not essential to enjoy a a spiritual walk with each other. So don’t set yourself up for disappointment by your own strict definition of what it means to be “spiritual”.

2.  Let God into those little moments. Stop to praise the Lord when an unexpected check arrives in the mail. Cry out to Him when your family is sick or hurting. Sometimes I simply whisper into my husband’s ear that I thank God for him. It’s not a Bible study or a formal prayer, but these are truly spiritual moments. And I find our days – and years – are mostly made up of such holy times.

3.  Pray for each other. Or simply pray for him. We’ve drawn closer to each other during those seasons when the only thing I could do was silently lift him up. Without fully realizing it, I was ministering to him in the midst of those difficult days. And I’ve had situations where I needed the same kind of care. Don’t fix it for me. Don’t preach to me. Just pray for me.

4.  Don’t neglect your own spiritual life. You don’t want to wait for him to initiate something together and in the meanwhile leave off with your own spiritual growth. Focus on your own Bible-reading and prayer time. Ask God to do His work in you. The two of you are one flesh – so when one of you is growing? It’s a blessing to you both.

5.  Encourage – rather than judge – his spiritual walk. It’s so easy for us to start to think of ourselves as “spiritually superior” to the other person. His sin, his shortcomings, are so evident to us. But the Bible specifically warns us against this kind of thinking. Instead, decide to be his quiet encourager. Be someone who walks alongside him, rather than one who presides over him.

Slowly, surely, over the years, my husband and I have been able to build a solid, spiritual connection. Perhaps not “one long spiritual retreat”, but a spiritual journey all the same.

And maybe that kind is even better.

*This is the first of a three-part series on Pursuing a Deeper Spiritual Life in Your Marriage. Next week: How a Wife Can Encourage the Spiritual Life of Her Husband.

 

Lisa is the happily-ever-after wife of Matthew L. Jacobson, literary agent and writer, and together they enjoy raising 8 children. Please join her over at Club31Women, a blog for any wife, mother, or sister who is looking for Biblical encouragement and inspiration.

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Shekhinah – An Ordinary Moment Can Be Quite Magical

Have you ever, in the midst of going about your daily routines, been overwhelmed by a sudden rush of God’s presence?

It is the most magical, beautiful, heart-wrenching thing.

It comes at the most unexpected and ordinary of moments – when I am having lunch, painting my nails, or intensely concentrating on work… and suddenly, He is there.

His presence wraps my heart in webs of love and ecstasy. He suffuses my spirit, soul and body with indescribable warmth.

I know that God is omni-present; He is always there. But I am talking about the tangible, bring-me-to-my-knees, reduce-me-to-tears, life-changing presence of God. His shekhinah.

Shekhinah. How I love that word!

God is the King who sits enthroned above the circle of the earth. He is holy, holy, holy.

Yet He chose to make His dwelling among mortal men – weak, sinful, dirty.

And with the sheer power of His love, He comes to our hearts and changes us so we become – strong, holy, pure.

He is mysterious and unfathomable.

Yet He is personal. As close as our breath.

If we would ask Him to open our eyes and our hearts, we would be amazed at the brilliant rays of eternity shining through the everyday tasks.

What is something that God has spoken to your heart today? How/when does God usually shows up to you?

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The Prayer Series – Standing In The Gap

Prayer has been called many names through the ages. Some call it travailing, some intercession, and others say that it is simply talking to God. Still others call it a calling and some might even call it boring. I personally like the phrase “standing in the gap”.

When I was 8 years-old, I found a song that captivated my heart. It became my earnest prayer:

 Won’t You Lord take a look at my hands // Everything I have use it for Your plan

Won’t You Lord take a look at my heart // Mold it, refine it, as You set me apart

I want to run to the altar and catch the fire

To stand in the gap between the living and the dead

Give me a heart of compassion for a world without vision

I will make a difference, bringing hope to my land

 I vividly remember listening to this song and having its lyrics pierce my heart. This song was referring to what Aaron did in Numbers 16:42-48 (if you haven’t already read this story, please please do! It is amazing).  It moved me deeply that God SO wanted to save the people of Israel; all He was waiting for was a man who would stand in the gap – literally between the living and the dead.

The story was seared into my heart. I thought to myself, “How wonderful it would be to do what Aaron did and know the heart of God in that way!”

Right there, I made a silent wish to God that I wanted to be like Aaron. To be someone who would stand in the gap on behalf of God.

God took my prayer and held me to it.

From the time I was a child, a deep longing for more of God was deposited in my heart. I would make up songs to Him in the night; He seemed to be part of my DNA.

At the same time, I was also deeply affected by the emotions (especially pain) of others, and could sense what was going on inside their hearts.

I went through a season of depression in my teen years as these two aspects intensified and seemed to stretch me in two directions.

On hindsight, I realize now that I was learning what it meant to stand in the gap – It is a stretching out to God on one side, a reaching out to people on the other, and bringing the two together.

What does standing in the gap look like?

1. Surrender. This has to be the first and foundational step. We need to come before God and say, “Lord, I offer everything I am and everything I have before You. Use it according to Your will for your plans.” Without surrender, the journey is going to be pretty rocky. Prayer/intercession/standing in the gap MUST originate from God – meaning that we only pray the thoughts & desires of His heart (more on that in this post). There are times that God will tell us to do/pray something that goes against our own desires/wisdom/comfort zone. Without surrender, we will be like the prophet Jonah who ran away, rejected God’s Word, and grumbled – he ended up being an oracle for God but missed out entirely on the heart of God.

2. Consecration. As we pray, we come closer and closer to the heart of God. That also means that our hearts keep getting refined & purified – God is a consuming fire, and closeness to Him means that all the impurities in our hearts will have to surface and be burned away. This is an awesome process and I love it dearly, though it is challenging and painful at times. Why do I love it? Well, I have found that the closer that I come to the heart of God and the greater the purification, there is a new level in which He shares the secrets of His heart with me. God is looking across the earth for men and women whom He can trust to carry His heart & His burdens.

3. Sacrifice. The burdens of God’s heart often require sacrifice on the parts of those who carry them. Look at Abraham, Noah, Samuel,  Jeremiah, Isaiah, Daniel, Esther… These people had to sacrifice their families, the good esteem of friends & neighbors, and often even their own lives, for the purposes of God. If we want status, popularity, or glory for ourselves, then being a servant of God is not the right career path. Through Church history, men and women have chosen to sacrifice everything in order to follow Jesus – I believe, and can personally testify, that once we have seen the greater picture in eternity’s light, none of it will feel like sacrifice. Instead, it would be something we delight & find our deepest joy in.

4. Compassion. The purpose of anything God does has its root in love. Every thing that He does is in love and for love. Apostles, prophets, teachers, evangelists, pastors – these are given to the Church for the purpose of building up the people. Without compassion, we can speak plenty of spiritual things and even move in powers, signs, and wonders, but we would be about as useful as a clanging gong.

Choose to stand in the gap and you will find that there is a constant stirring in your heart. It will constantly be crying out and wanting more of God for a person/group of people/nation.

Another aspect of standing in the gap is illustrated in the battle between Elijah and the false prophets of Baal (1 Kings 18: 16-39). In the story, the only things necessary to have the fire of God fall were:

1. An altar

2. A sacrifice pleasing to God

The altar symbolizes the place where people meet with God – it is a symbolism of my inner man, who communicates with the Spirit of God as deep calls unto deep (Psalms 42: 7).  The sacrifice God requires is me – a living sacrifice, surrendered and yielded to Him.

He is asking if we would be the living sacrifice – Aaron ran to a physical altar and caught the physical fire, but now we need to become the dwelling place in whom the fire of God can rest.

Then, we carry the fire of God in us. And wherever we go, death will stop and life will come.

Being an intercessor is to have our own lives become an intercession.

Have you ever felt the burden for a particular person/people group/nation? What would it look like for you to stand in the gap for them?

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Idream of Eden. We were made for the Garden and the full pleasure of paradise. We got separated at Eden and we spend our whole lives searching for a way back into that secret paradise. All of life's pursuit + pain + questioning can be traced back to man's search for home. Our deepest instincts tell us that we are not home outside of this reality, and our souls will never stop searching until we return. Only there will we find rest and our true being. There, we begin to dream again the dreams that have laid asleep in our hearts all along.

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